Brenda Perkins
Recovery Story
I am an addict and my name is Brenda.
I am a person in long term recovery from a substance
use disorder. What that means for me is
that I have not found it necessary to use any mood altering substance since
January 17, 2002. This is part of my
story.
I was married when I came into recovery. My husband was injured in a car accident in
our first year of marriage and fractured a vertebrae in his neck and was
instantly paralyzed from the chest down.
At that time we were both 26
years old and had just had our first child, needless to say this was a lot to
cope with for a new family.
I coped as best I could taking care of him, the baby,
the house, my job and anything else that came my way. I was taking care of everything and everybody
and lost myself in the process
My addiction began when I started taking pain
medication prescribed by a physician for physical symptoms related to the high
stress caused by the immense emotional strain that life circumstances brought
my way. I quickly realized that these
medications helped more than just the pain I was experiencing, they became an
escape from my reality. Over time I
began taking more and more of these medications and eventually became
physically addicted. Once my physician realized I was abusing my medication she
stopped prescribing the medication and that is when the real trouble began.
In addition to being a wife, mother, daughter and friend,
I am also a medical professional. I
worked for a surgical office and had access to medications and prescription
pads. I began to steal pain medication and
when that was not available I would write my own prescriptions and fill them at
the pharmacy. My addiction grew and grew
and eventually I was juggling five pharmacies and taking upwards of 500 pills a
month! I had $45,000.00 in credit card
debt, had quit my job, and was completely miserable! I thought the only way out was suicide so I
attempted this in September of 2001.
Clearly this was unsuccessful. I
ended up in a mental institution. I was
unable to be honest about my addiction at that time due to my fear of being
arrested for prescription fraud. I was
released 4 days later and immediately went back to using.
My saving grace came in January 2002 by way of a phone
call from the Virginia Board of Nursing, inquiring about some prescriptions
that were falsified. I was caught! I was scared and felt alone. I told no one, and went to meet the investigator
on my own. I put a couple of phone
numbers in my back pocket and went into the meeting and admitted to the
investigator that I was addicted and that I had done what he was accusing me
of. I cried like a baby, but at the same
time felt some sense of relief. This was
the first time that I had admitted out loud to anyone that I was an
addict.
This situation did not turn out like I had imagined it
would! I thought I would go straight to
Jail. Instead he took me to a woman’s
office. She got up, hugged me and told
me everything was going to be ok. The
Board of Nursing had a program for people like me and that she could help
me! She made some calls and enrolled me
in an intensive outpatient program that day! I was signed up for the Health
Practitioners Intervention Program. It
is a five- year monitoring period with the Board of Nursing. I would be drug tested, have meeting
requirements, fill out reports and tell all of my physicians and employers that
I was in the program.
I entered the IOP program the next day was placed on a
methadone detox program and that’s where my recovery journey began! I was off the methadone in 5 weeks, attending
IOP groups 3 days a week and was introduced to the 12 step fellowship of my
choosing. I was finally free of the
addiction that was controlling my life!
I completed the Intervention program in 2007 and I was able to keep my
nursing license! I was so imbedded in my
recovery when the accountability of the program ended, that I didn’t even miss it. I had a sponsor, a home group a support
network of women in my life that loved and cared about me and I was helping and
sponsoring women myself!
In September of 2015 I was given the opportunity to
work at the McShin Foundation, a recovery community organization in the
Richmond area. I am with addicts new to
recovery every day It is a daily
reminder of how bad addiction is. I am
able to give people hope that there is a better way to live, and I am grateful
for that.
