Thursday, November 16, 2017

"The Love of a Mother," Addiction and Family, By: Joy


At a recent McShin meeting Tim asked to hear from family members affected by the disease of addiction.  This caught my ear, perhaps because I didn’t realize that those in recovery at The McShin Foundation were actually interested in what it might be like for us, the family members of an addict.  Usually when we attend the Wednesday night meetings, the meeting is centered on the addict.  The agenda includes their program, their schedule, their activities and their community involvement.  As I considered this request it occurred to me that writing about my experience might be just what I needed to jump-start my own personal recovery.  To be truthful, it needs a major overhaul not just a simple jump-start. 



I have not been actively working my program for probably seven to eight years although the disease has been in our family for well over a decade.  I became complacent, as did the addict in my life.  We all thought we had beaten the disease and could move ahead with our lives.  But just like any life-long disease, we must remain vigilant and actively manage our lives. Recovery is not a solution to a temporary problem, but a lifetime commitment to those who want the best for themselves and their loved ones.

  

When I arrived at McShin I was sad, depleted and angry.  I had been down this road before, yet here I was again.  I was sad for my daughter and what addiction was doing to her. I was angry with myself for ignoring the red flags and the awful feeling that was always in my gut. And, I was exhausted after living in a codependent, unhealthy relationship with my adult child.  Addiction was destroying our family and our lives had become unmanageable. 



Bob met us in the church parking lot just as he promised he would when I had called him the day before.  He was genuine and he was kind and there was no judging.  I noticed he had a slight limp, yet he eagerly jumped up to meet us and take us up two flights of stairs to meet Erin.  Although she was trying to eat lunch at her desk at 2:30 in the afternoon, she pushed it aside and immediately focused on how she could help us. 



I began to feel more at ease as Erin smiled, listened and shared some of her past experience as an addict.  She demonstrated what life could be like in active recovery.  During our meeting, she effortlessly managed probably a half dozen interruptions by others needing her attention.  Her confidence and positive behavior were refreshing to witness.  Bob re-joined us later that afternoon and accompanied us on a tour of the women’s housing.  There we met Christina, the house leader at Del Rose.  She was beaming with pride and showed off her house as if it were her own.  She was incredibly supportive and welcoming to us as we learned a little more about the McShin philosophy and the people who lived and worked there.   By the end of the day our daughter had decided to take a chance on McShin, and we did as well. 



In so far as being a “family member” or a “loved one” there are many of us, just as there are many of you.  We love you and we know you love us.  Addiction profoundly changed all of our lives, but like you we get to choose how we will live with the disease going forward.  There is no doubt in my mind that this is a family disease.  Addiction is powerful and it is deadly.  It destroys lives and causes us all to do things we never imagined.  It is elusive and cunning, and just as it fooled you into believing it was a solution to your pain, it fooled us into believing we could fix you.  We were both fooled. 



After almost two months of being back in a recovery program I can share my feelings with others.  I’ve learned that I need others in recovery to help me on this journey.  I cannot do it alone and I cannot ever become comfortable or complacent with this disease again.  I imagine the support groups as a big safety net, there to catch me and lift me back up if I am unsteady or feeling unsure in my decisions.  If I find myself getting wrapped up in trying to rescue others, I know it is time to step back and ask for help.  I have come to accept my powerlessness and I have asked for God’s help.  I am not remorseful, nor am I overly hopeful. 



The sadness and the anger have subsided and I am beginning to feel a little more sure-footed as I continue to listen and learn more about this disease.  I understand that recovery is a lifetime commitment and only I am responsible for my program.  I also humbly accept that I can manage only my life, one day at a time and with God’s help.  This is my program and I am responsible for getting the most out of it.  I am still learning and I grateful.



I choose to no longer see you as a child, but as the adult that you have become.  I choose to no longer believe that I can cure your disease or solve your problems.  McShin is an opportunity for us.  It is a huge opportunity for anyone who has decided to choose living over dying.  At The McShin Foundation there are people who have walked in our shoes and found their way out of the darkness.  They have more experience; more wisdom, and more joy in their lives because they have chosen a lifestyle of recovery.  It is by God’s Grace, we are all still here.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anyone who loves someone with addiction disease should admit that they have thought, or that they still think about that awful phone call. The phone call to tell you your loved one is dead. Recently, my recovering addict asked me if I was prepared for that phone call. They were asking me if I was prepared to hear that they were dead. Really? This just blows my mind. How can anyone of us ever be prepared to say goodbye or to learn your loved one has died from an accidental overdose of drugs?

Enzo Gabin said...

It was during my research on HIV/Herpes that I stumbled upon the Hiv/Herpes information; information which is quite easy to find when doing a search for STD on google. I was into conspiracy at the time thought of HIV/Herpes Cured' being a conspiracy was something Ignorance though,I found pretty interesting about herbal medicine. I asked questions about the Herbal cure's on official HIV/Herpes websites and I was banned for doing so by moderators who told me that I was parroting Hiv/Herpes propaganda. This reinforced my belief that there is a cure for Hiv/Herpes Then i found a lady from germany name Achima Abelard Dr Itua Cure her Hiv so I send him a mail about my situation then talk more about it and send me his herbal medicine I drank for two weeks.And today I'm Cured no Hiv/Herpes in my life,I searched for Hiv/Herpes groups to attempt to make contact with people in order to learn more about Hiv/Herpes Herbal Cure's I believed at this time that you with the same disease this information is helpful to you and I wanted to do the best I could to spread this information in the hopes of helping other people.That Dr Itua Herbal Medicine makes me believes there is a hope for people suffering from,Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Fatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Copd,Diabetes,Hepatitis,I read about him online how he cure Tasha and Tara,Conley,Mckinney and many more suffrin from all kind of disease so i contacted him . He's a herbal doctor with a unique heart of God, Contact Emal..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Phone or whatsapp..+2348149277967.

Nicole Campbell said...

i want to thank Dr Eboh for the herbal HIV medicine he gave to me and my daughter, i was suffering from HIV when i gave birth to my daughter and that was how my daughter got the sickness indirect from me, but to God be the glory that i am heal with the herbal medicine that Dr Eboh gave to me when i contacted him. i want to use this medium to tell everyone that the solution to our sickness has come, so i will like you to contact this great healer on his web site https://holycurecenter.wordpress.com with him all your pains will be gone, i am really happy today that i and my daughter are cured of HIV, we are now negative after the use of his medicine,my doctor confirm it. once more i say a big thank to you Dr Eboh for healing hands upon my life and my daughter, i say may God continue to bless you abundantly and give you more power to keep helping those that want your help in their lives. email him now he is waiting to receive you. holycurecenter@gmail.com or add him on whatsapp +2348053823815.

Dr Eboh CAN AS WELL CURE THE FOLLOWING DISEASE:-

1. HIV/AIDS
2. HERPES
3. CANCER
4. ALS
5. Love spell
6. Lotto Spell

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Kaitlyn Kristy said...

HOW I GOT CURE TO MY HERPES WITH THE HELP OF DR EBAKO NATURAL HERBS CURE WHATSAPP HIM ON +1 (213) 861-9461


I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all HERPES patient in the world i never believed that their could be any complete cure for HERPES or any cure for HERPES,i saw people’s testimony on sites of how DR EBAKO prepare herbal cure and brought them back to life again. i had to try it too and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually and i had to leave without the HERPES DRUGS the doctor gave to me. Right now i can tell you that few months now i have not had any pain,delay in treatment leads to death. Here is his email: doctorebakospellhome@gmail.com his WHATSAPP number is +1 (213) 861-9461
https://drebakocurehome.blogspot.com/
http://drebakocurehome.over-blog.com

he can also cure you from
HPV
HIV
HIV2
Hepatitis B
Diabetes
etc

Harrey Bay said...



Am jeremiah, I am testifying about a great hebal man that cured my wife of hepatitis B and liver cirhosis. his name is Dr oniha. My wife was diagnose of hepatities two years ago, i almost spent all i had then, until i saw dr oniha recommendation online, and i call him, then he told me how to get the herb. You can call him on +2347089275769 or email him at dronihaspell@yahoo.com

Tara Omar said...

Hiv disease for the last 3 years and had pain hard to eat and cough are nightmares,especially the first year At this stage, the immune system is severely weakened, and the risk of contracting opportunistic infections is much greater. However, not everyone with HIV will go on to develop AIDS. The earlier you receive treatment, the better your outcome will be.I started taking ARV to avoid early death but I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.As a Hiv patent we are advise to be taking antiretroviral treatments to reduce our chance of transmitting the virus to others , few weeks ago i came on search on the internet if i could get any information on Hiv treatment with herbal medicine, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from Hiv her name was Achima Abelard and other Herpes Virus patent Tasha Moore also giving testimony about this same man,Called Dr Itua Herbal Center.I was moved by the testimony and i contacted him by his Email.drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com We chatted and he send me a bottle of herbal medicine I drank it as he instructed me to.After drinking it he ask me to go for a test that how i ended my suffering life of Hiv patent,I'm cured and free of Arv Pills.I'm forever grateful to him Drituaherbalcenter.Here his contact Number +2348149277967...He assure me he can cure the following disease..Hiv,Cancer,Herpes Virus,Lyme Disease,Epilepsy, ,Bladder Cancer,Colorectal Cancer,Breast Cancer,Kidney Cancer,Leukemia,Lung Cancer,Non Hodgkin Lymphoma,Skin Cancer,Lupus,Uterine Cancer,Prostate Cancer, fibromyalgia ,ALS,Hepatitis,Copd,Parkinson disease.Genetic disease,Fibrodysplasia disease,Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome,Liver/Kidney Inflammatory,Men/Woman infertility, bowel disease ,Huntington's disease ,Diabetes,Fibroid...

Alarico Adalbert said...

It is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like,HIV,Epilepsy Infertility, Herpes, Hepatitis, Schizophrenia,Cancer,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..

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Donna Albert said...

The Medical doctors said Herpes virus does not have a medical cure because the virus is capable of hiding within the human cells, it remains protected from your immune system. Herpes isn’t a special virus – your immune system has the tools to fight it back. But because it is able to lay dormant in protected cells, your immune system is unable to remove it from your body,But with strong reactive herbal medication is capable of getting rid of the virus gradually and totally from your body without damaging any of your cells,natural herbs kills the virus totally not just reducing the outbreak. Get natural herbs cure from Dr Osalu, I'm a medical Doctor and i have tried this herb from Dr Osalu and it works very well, i will recommend everyone out there to try this herbal medicine from Dr Osalu, I will drop his contacts so that you can reach him all by yourself You can Email him via his email drosaluherbalhome@gmail.com for easy and fast communication you can also call or add him on whats-app with this number +2348078668950.

bella amada said...

Am from united states..Join me as i share the wonderful work of Dr Saibu how he cured my HERPES Disease, that almost took my life, i have lived with this disease and did all i could be cured but no way.i have been searching out on a cure to terminate my HERPES and on my search i found Dr Saibu help on the lives of many people . and after i wrote to him on how to get a cure, he directed me on the steps and he prepared my herbal medicine and after he sent it to me that after using it, i will be cured, and that was how he sent me my medicine and after using it for some days i was found negative by my test result. why not contact him today on his email: drsaibu2@gmail.com and he can still cured..HERPES,HEPATITIS B,CANCER,DIABETICS or add him on whatsapp +2348064438762 .

Barbara Robert said...

Hello everyone, I want use this opportunity share some thought about GENITAL HERPES in case you have someone suffering from it, my thought on this, is that you can get some herbs that can cure this disease, I have seen it work and I'm confident to recommend it to you today and to get the herbs for GENITAL HERPES contact Dr Ekpen via: (ekpentemple@gmail.com) or via whatsapp +2347050270218

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