To really start this story in the beginning I would have to go as far back as age 7. The age where I first remember craving an altered state. I would spin in circles until I got so dizzy that I would fall flat on my back, and watch my world spin till it spin no more and then proceed to begin the process all over again. I remember hearing my mother in the background crying "stop spinning your driving me crazy," or "stop crossing your eyes before you get stuck like that." Sometimes it seemed I craved to see things not as they are. I found alcohol not soon after. I was drunk at eight. By the time I was twelve I was dipping into the parents liqueur cabinet on a weekly basis, and was soon caught by the evil step father whom decided to put a pad lock on the cabinet. So it made it a little more time consuming having to unscrew the hinges on those Saturday mornings, or snow days with my delinquent friends waiting for their shots. Time for drunk football! So crazy looking back, I got my fist trouble with the law at 13 grand larceny and breaking and entering. I was more of a home invasion which is a more serious charge. Two friends and myself knew where a girl that we knew was babysitting. So we went to see her. We knocked on the door and when she answered we talked briefly and asked if we could come in when she said no, we pushed our way in and made ourselves at home. We went straight for the bottles, we found a bottle of whiskey and drank from the bottle passing it around then things started to get wild. I went into the bedroom and started rummaging through the jewelry, and pocketed some rings. I don't really remember much from that night I just remember how the story goes.
When I went to court I remember myself and Brody taking the charge and saying that our boy Sam had nothing to do with it. Sam had just lost his mother and we felt bad for him. So we let him go. I wonder whatever became of ole Sammy. Probably up on capital hill doing something important making a difference, thanks to old brody and myself keeping his record squeaky clean. Well I can assure you that the 80 hours of community service and the judge didn't slow me down a bit. Neither did the treatment center that the parents sent me to at the age of 14.
By the time I was 16 I had been thrown out of two schools. Once in 4th grade for selling oregano to students and telling them it was marijuana, and 7th grade for trying to set the school on fire. I had been to two rehabs and years of counseling. None of which slowed me down. By the time I was 16 I drank heavy, smoked and sold marijuana and was big into LSD and mushrooms. By the time I was half way to 9th grade I was done with living with parental guidance.
One night I was down at a group where my mother dropped me every weds. night and outside st marks was my boy max and my girlfriend leigh. We decided to take off to Virginia Beach. Max said we could take his mothers car. I didn't know Max that well, but I did hear later that he killed himself on a motorcycle. From what I heard he was decapitated by a chained off parking lot. That happen some years later.
That trip all three of us became real close up until his mother found us on the board walk and took him home. Leigh and I though continued on our journey which went from Virgina beach to DC to Ohio and home. I could write a book on that trip. And it was an acid filled trip from DC onward. A couple free hippies doing as they please. Fresh young teenagers no real harm done a few broken windows some petty things stolen. Much like the story a grench that stole Christmas where I was the star. How I wish the story ended there.
But the progression of my disease became a whole new animal when I found Cocaine and Heroin. All I can say for my adult life from 17 to 39 is I've been in and out of jails institutions and prisons. I was locked up in prison due to a bank robbery. I have traveled all over the USA to Mexico leaving nothing but terror and chaos in my wake. My life has been nothing but shame, remorse, and pain.
I came to McShin bitter and broken and completely bankrupt. Peter sat down to talk with me and I wasn't sure I'd get in. Well I was accepted into the foundation. In my first group I had here for some reason or another I told the group that if they all dropped dead at that moment I would go about my day and wouldn't shed a tear. Well that was 39 days ago. and since then I have become a part of this family that i love as my very own. It just shows me the growth and progress I have made here. Love you guys!